What is the book about?
This book is an attempt to capture a variety of loneliness experiences. It includes 18 autobiographical stories of loneliness ranging from experiences of abuse and bullying, to divorce, to the desire to be alone. Each chapter in the book contains the story of one person's life and their experiences of loneliness. Also within each chapter is a commentary, which seeks to explain how loneliness has played out in the experiences of each person. Readers have the opportunity to enter into the world of a lonely person and then gain some insight into how loneliness has affected that person's life. The book sends the message that you are not alone in your loneliness, there are others out there who have seen, experienced, and suffered in similar ways. Our experiences of loneliness connect us to one another and through this connection we can gain insight and understanding into our own lives.
How did you collect the stories for the book?
Stories for the book were collected from visitors to the website, the Web of Loneliness. On the website I invited visitors to donate the story of their life to me, written in their own words. To help donors in writing their story, I suggested that they could include the following pieces of information: (1) the different stages of their life and how they experienced loneliness at each of these stages, (2) how they coped with their feelings of loneliness, (3) what their situation is like now, what things keep them feeling lonely, (4) why they feel lonely, (5) what happened in their life to cause them to feel lonely, (6) what prevents them from curing their loneliness, (7) what they think they need to stop feeling lonely, and (8) if they were lonely in the past and not lonely now, what changed in their life to cause this to occur. Donors did not have to answer all of these questions and I suggested that they use these questions as a guide to helping them write their story. I received much more stories than what is in the book. I am very grateful to everyone who took the time to write their stories to me. However I chose the stories I felt would be most conducive for a book publication. Stories were edited for grammar, spelling, and confidentiality. Names and places have been changed to protect the identity of the authors. Other than that, the stories are essentially the words of each donor telling their story of loneliness.
Why would people donate their loneliness stories to you?
There were three main reasons, I believe, why people decided to donate their stories to me. One reason is that there is a certain amount of catharsis involved in writing your own life story. It helped the authors to feel better about themselves by getting it out and writing it down. The second reason is because some of the donors felt like they had learned certain important life lessons about loneliness that they would like to share with others. Some donors explained what things worked for them in helping them cope or deal with loneliness and suggested that these things may work for others. The third and final reason involves the altruistic motivation to help others. Unlike some donors that had explicit advice to share about how to deal with loneliness, other donors felt like just sharing their stories would be enough to provide some comfort to others.
Why did you write this book?
This book has been about eight years in the making. I started collecting stories back in 2003 and have slowly been collecting stories since then. When I started collecting stories, it was about two years after I had launched the Web of Loneliness website. The website proved to be much more of a success than I had anticipated. One of the greatest effects that the website had on lonely visitors was a feeling they were not alone in their loneliness. In other words, there were lots of other people who were feeling lonely just like how the visitors were feeling lonely. There was a sense of solidarity, of being a part of something, of realizing that they no longer had to suffer in silence. I wanted to continue this process outside of the website, in a much more detailed fashion. I thought collecting stories and sharing it through a book would be an excellent way to do this. And I wanted to write a book on loneliness in a way that had not been done before. However, since 2003, there have been two big obstacles to getting the book done. The first was time. I was juggling graduate studies and later a teaching job that left very little room for writing. The second obstacle was finding the right way to write the book. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what would be the best approach to make the book appealing to a general audience. Hopefully the final result is a success. I called the book, The Lonely Screams, because I want the world to know that the lonely are out there and we need to be heard and understood. And all of us, lonely or not, need to tear down our barriers and start connecting to one another.
What is the Web of Loneliness?
The Web of Loneliness is a website dedicated to providing information and support to those who feel lonely. It includes some general information on loneliness, a collection of artwork on loneliness (including pictures, music, and over 180 poems), a couple research projects I have completed on loneliness, a Q&A section where I have answered questions about loneliness from visitors, and an online support group for lonely individuals.
Are you also lonely?
I have had to deal with loneliness in the past, especially during the adolescent years. Since my adolescent days, I have come to better understand loneliness and how to deal with it. I am not as lonely as I once was, but I still have much personal growth and development. As time progresses I have come to better understand what things about me have created feelings of loneliness and how best to change those things.
What are your future plans?
This book represents a first step in my renewed efforts to help those who feel lonely. I will be working on revamping my loneliness intervention program and offer it on the Internet. The program is a way to learn more about loneliness, what causes loneliness, and the opportunity to work with others in attempting to reduce feelings of loneliness. I hope to start offering the program in late 2011 or in 2012. Check the Web of Loneliness website for updates, or subscribe to my twitter feed or Facebook page.
This book is an attempt to capture a variety of loneliness experiences. It includes 18 autobiographical stories of loneliness ranging from experiences of abuse and bullying, to divorce, to the desire to be alone. Each chapter in the book contains the story of one person's life and their experiences of loneliness. Also within each chapter is a commentary, which seeks to explain how loneliness has played out in the experiences of each person. Readers have the opportunity to enter into the world of a lonely person and then gain some insight into how loneliness has affected that person's life. The book sends the message that you are not alone in your loneliness, there are others out there who have seen, experienced, and suffered in similar ways. Our experiences of loneliness connect us to one another and through this connection we can gain insight and understanding into our own lives.
How did you collect the stories for the book?
Stories for the book were collected from visitors to the website, the Web of Loneliness. On the website I invited visitors to donate the story of their life to me, written in their own words. To help donors in writing their story, I suggested that they could include the following pieces of information: (1) the different stages of their life and how they experienced loneliness at each of these stages, (2) how they coped with their feelings of loneliness, (3) what their situation is like now, what things keep them feeling lonely, (4) why they feel lonely, (5) what happened in their life to cause them to feel lonely, (6) what prevents them from curing their loneliness, (7) what they think they need to stop feeling lonely, and (8) if they were lonely in the past and not lonely now, what changed in their life to cause this to occur. Donors did not have to answer all of these questions and I suggested that they use these questions as a guide to helping them write their story. I received much more stories than what is in the book. I am very grateful to everyone who took the time to write their stories to me. However I chose the stories I felt would be most conducive for a book publication. Stories were edited for grammar, spelling, and confidentiality. Names and places have been changed to protect the identity of the authors. Other than that, the stories are essentially the words of each donor telling their story of loneliness.
Why would people donate their loneliness stories to you?
There were three main reasons, I believe, why people decided to donate their stories to me. One reason is that there is a certain amount of catharsis involved in writing your own life story. It helped the authors to feel better about themselves by getting it out and writing it down. The second reason is because some of the donors felt like they had learned certain important life lessons about loneliness that they would like to share with others. Some donors explained what things worked for them in helping them cope or deal with loneliness and suggested that these things may work for others. The third and final reason involves the altruistic motivation to help others. Unlike some donors that had explicit advice to share about how to deal with loneliness, other donors felt like just sharing their stories would be enough to provide some comfort to others.
Why did you write this book?
This book has been about eight years in the making. I started collecting stories back in 2003 and have slowly been collecting stories since then. When I started collecting stories, it was about two years after I had launched the Web of Loneliness website. The website proved to be much more of a success than I had anticipated. One of the greatest effects that the website had on lonely visitors was a feeling they were not alone in their loneliness. In other words, there were lots of other people who were feeling lonely just like how the visitors were feeling lonely. There was a sense of solidarity, of being a part of something, of realizing that they no longer had to suffer in silence. I wanted to continue this process outside of the website, in a much more detailed fashion. I thought collecting stories and sharing it through a book would be an excellent way to do this. And I wanted to write a book on loneliness in a way that had not been done before. However, since 2003, there have been two big obstacles to getting the book done. The first was time. I was juggling graduate studies and later a teaching job that left very little room for writing. The second obstacle was finding the right way to write the book. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what would be the best approach to make the book appealing to a general audience. Hopefully the final result is a success. I called the book, The Lonely Screams, because I want the world to know that the lonely are out there and we need to be heard and understood. And all of us, lonely or not, need to tear down our barriers and start connecting to one another.
What is the Web of Loneliness?
The Web of Loneliness is a website dedicated to providing information and support to those who feel lonely. It includes some general information on loneliness, a collection of artwork on loneliness (including pictures, music, and over 180 poems), a couple research projects I have completed on loneliness, a Q&A section where I have answered questions about loneliness from visitors, and an online support group for lonely individuals.
Are you also lonely?
I have had to deal with loneliness in the past, especially during the adolescent years. Since my adolescent days, I have come to better understand loneliness and how to deal with it. I am not as lonely as I once was, but I still have much personal growth and development. As time progresses I have come to better understand what things about me have created feelings of loneliness and how best to change those things.
What are your future plans?
This book represents a first step in my renewed efforts to help those who feel lonely. I will be working on revamping my loneliness intervention program and offer it on the Internet. The program is a way to learn more about loneliness, what causes loneliness, and the opportunity to work with others in attempting to reduce feelings of loneliness. I hope to start offering the program in late 2011 or in 2012. Check the Web of Loneliness website for updates, or subscribe to my twitter feed or Facebook page.